What Is a Mother?

 

[The following is a manuscript of my message delivered at Pilgrim Reformed Church on Sunday morning, the 12th of May, 2024 - Mother's Day.  A recording of our service should be available on our YouTube streaming channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/@pilgrimreformedchurch1992/streams.]

What is a mother?

That might seem like a simple question with the obvious answer of a woman who bore a child.  Of course, in our modern society that holds to no absolutes, that word “woman” would be debated.  But I think we know what a woman is – and I’m speaking of a biological woman, assigned that gender by God at birth, although I never thought I’d have to make that distinction.

As you can already see, though, my question is not so simple after all.  For we can also ask does a woman have to bear a child to be a mother?  For that matter, must a mother be a woman?  I’ve known plenty of Moms who never had children of their own, or who were Mom to someone else’s children – a substitute mother, so to speak.  There are women who will adopt orphaned children and become a mother to them.  Then there are grandmothers who suddenly become mothers to their grandchildren.  And I’ve known single Dads who had to stand in as both mother and father to their children.  We can even see examples in the animal world, like where a dog adopts and takes care of orphaned kittens.

Our Bible tells us of the mother of us all.  Eve, along with Adam, began populating the world, starting with sons Cain and Abel.  We know how that story plays out.

But our Bible also supports some of the alternate mother roles as well.  I mentioned one in our invocation, where our God, who we are instructed to call Abba – Father – reassures us that He will comfort us as a mother comforts her child.  In this brief picture, we can see God as both Father and Mother.

There is another very poignant passage where a woman is given the responsibility of acting as mother to a child not her own, and to a son accepting a woman as his mother.  Please listen and follow along as I read from the 19th chapter of the Apostle John’s Gospel account, verses 25, 26, and 27, and I’ll be reading from the Contemporary English Version of our Holy Bible this morning…

25 Jesus' mother stood beside His cross with her sister and Mary the wife of Clopas. Mary Magdalene was standing there too. 26 When Jesus saw His mother and His favorite disciple with her, He said to His mother, “This man is now your son.” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “She is now your mother.” From then on, that disciple took her into his own home.

--John 19:25-27 (CEV)

Let us pray…  Heavenly Father, we thank You for establishing the family unit for us to be born into, raised under, and live in.  Thank You especially for our mothers, who brought us into the world and nurtured us until we were able to go out on our own.  Sadly though, Father, not all women who bore children are good mothers.  And many of our mothers have already joined You in heaven.  But You, in Your loving mercy, have provided us with alternate mothers, with Moms, when we’ve needed them.  Father, please help us reach out to the non-believers of the world, showing them Your love, sharing the Gospel as the apostles and the early church did.  Help us spread the message of salvation through Jesus to all we encounter.  And please forgive us when we hesitate to serve You and our Lord, even though we know we should.

Speak to us now, Father, that we might hear Your voice through Your Spirit within us and better understand Your message today.  And thank You for our mothers and our Moms.  Help us respect them and hold their memories in our hearts.  This we pray in the precious name of Your Son, Christ Jesus our Lord.   Amen.

Back in 1915, Howard Johnson - not the restaurant owner - and Theodore Morse wrote a little song simply titled "Mother".  Most of us are familiar with, or have at least heard or seen, the chorus of that song:

“M” is for the million things she gave me, 

“O” means only that she’s growing old,

“T” is for the tears were shed to save me,

“H” is for her heart of purest gold;

“E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,

“R” means right, and right she’ll always be,

Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”,

A word that means the world to me.

But did you know there is a second verse, and another chorus?  The second chorus goes like this:

“M” is for the mercy she possesses,

“O” means that I owe her all I own,

“T” is for her tender sweet caresses,

“H” is for her hands that made a home;

“E” means ev’rything she’s done to help me,

“R” means real and regular, you see,

Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”,

A word that means the world to me.

Our mothers should mean the world to us, for without them we would not be in the world.  Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere!

Since it is Mother’s Day, I don’t want to keep us too long this morning, so I’ll let our Bible do most of the talking.  And the first thing it has to tell us of is the old traditional Hebrew hymn to a good woman.  This is a song or poem of tribute for a man to celebrate and speak life over the woman in his life.  Some men would even sing it to their wives at the start of every Sabbath meal.  Hear what wise King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31…

10 A truly good wife

is the most precious treasure

a man can find!

11 Her husband depends on her,

and she never

lets him down.

12 She is good to him

every day of her life,

13 and with her own hands

she gladly makes clothes.

14 She is like a sailing ship

that brings food

from across the sea.

15 She gets up before daylight

to prepare food for her family

and for her servants.

16 She knows how to buy land

and how to plant a vineyard,

17     and she always works hard.

18 She knows when to buy or sell,

and she stays busy

until late at night.

19 She spins her own cloth,

20 and she helps the poor

and the needy.

21 Her family has warm clothing,

and so she doesn't worry

when it snows.

22 She does her own sewing,

and everything she wears

is beautiful.

23 Her husband is a well-known

and respected leader

in the city.

24 She makes clothes to sell

to the shop owners.

25 She is strong and graceful,

as well as cheerful

about the future.

26 Her words are sensible,

and her advice

is thoughtful.

27 She takes good care

of her family

and is never lazy.

28 Her children praise her,

and with great pride

her husband says,

29 “There are many good women,

but you are the best!”

30 Charm can be deceiving,

and beauty fades away,

but a woman

who honors the Lord

deserves to be praised.

31 Show her respect —

praise her in public

for what she has done.

--Proverbs 31:10-31 (CEV)

This passage describes a woman of valor, a truly good wife and the most precious treasure a man can find.  And we can clearly see that motherhood plays an important part.  She takes good care of her family, seeing that they are well fed and clothed.  Her children praise her with great pride.  She honors the Lord and so deserves to be praised and respected in public.  We did that just a little while ago, honoring two of our mothers, our women of valor.

In his letter to the church in Ephesus, the Apostle Paul lays out some family rules for us.  Now, this may seem a little old fashioned and even controversial by today’s standards, but there is wisdom and meaning in Paul’s instructions.  Please listen to the words Paul sent in the 5th and 6th chapter of his letter to the Ephesians, from verses 22 through 29 in the 5th chapter, and from verse 33 in the 5th chapter to verse 4 in the 6th chapter…

5:22  A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord. 23 A husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head and the Savior of the church, which is his own body. 24 Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first.

25  A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He made the church holy by the power of his word, and he made it pure by washing it with water. 27 Christ did this, so he would have a glorious and holy church, without faults or spots or wrinkles or any other flaws.

28 In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows he loves himself. 29 None of us hate our own bodies. We provide for them and take good care of them, just as Christ does for the church.

33 So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.

6:1  Children, you belong to the Lord, and you do the right thing when you obey your parents. The first commandment with a promise says, 2  “Obey your father and your mother, 3 and you will have a long and happy life.”

4  Parents, don't be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord.

--Ephesians 5:22-29; 5:33-6:4 (CEV)

Yes, this is the infamous “wives, submit to your husbands” passage, and I know some folks don’t like it.  But I think the Contemporary English Version lends greater clarity to what Paul intended here.

It isn’t so much that a wife should be subservient, but that the husband is the head of the family, including the wife, just as Jesus is the head of His church.  So the wife should put her husband first, just as the church puts Jesus first, or should.

And likewise, the husband should treat his wife just as Christ Jesus treats His church.  Jesus doesn’t scoff at the church or belittle it or make it do things that it really shouldn’t do.  He loves the church, so much so that He gave up His own mortal life for it.  He made it pure by washing it with water and with His blood.  He loved His church and made it holy and glorious, without faults or blemishes.  It is this way that a husband should love his wife - just as much as he loves himself.  He should provide for her, encourage her, lift her up and take good care of her, just as Jesus does for His church.

And then Paul gets to the parenthood part by addressing the children in the family.  Obey your father and your mother.  This is how to achieve a long and happy life.  We should honor our mothers, not just on Mother’s Day but on every day.  As a dear friend once noted, “every day is Mother’s Day”, or at least should be.

A wife is not necessarily a mother.  And a mother is not necessarily a wife.  A “mother” may not have given birth to the child she mothers.  A "mother" may not even be a woman.

So getting back to my original question…  What is a mother?  A mother is an extension of God's love.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers!

In the blessed name of Christ Jesus our Lord, who loves us all so dearly, the one true Son of God, who came in the flesh to redeem us, who was raised from the dead into flesh and returned to heaven, and who is coming again to judge us all.  Amen.

Let us pray…  Almighty God, thank You for our mothers.  Thank You for those women who gave us birth, and for those wonderful, kind, loving souls who cared for us and nurtured us when we needed it most.  Sometimes though, Father, we forget how You act as a mother to us, loving us and comforting us just as a mother comforts and loves her child.  Sometimes we don’t even pay the honor and respect our mothers deserve.  Please forgive us these times, Father.  Help us always cherish our mothers, even if only in our memories of them.  Help us show our love by sharing the Gospel message.  Help us take up the work Jesus gave us.  And as we do so, please help us be more forgiving, more merciful in our dealings with others.  And Father, guide us around any pitfalls in this life and strengthen our spirits to do Your will.  And please help us do a better job of sharing Jesus with others so that they too may be saved by Your mercy and His sacrifice.  

Father, please shield us from Satan as he attacks our faith, trying to make us his own.  Help us be better servants, glorifying You in all we do so that the world can see You in us, through our deeds, in how we live.  And help us remain strong, faithful, and true to You in all things, no matter what the world throws at us or holds out before us.

Please hear us now, Father, as we pause for just a moment to speak to You through Your Spirit within us, promising to be more obedient to Your commands, and seeking Your help to do so…

Lord Jesus, we are Your church.  We are Your body on earth and You are our head.  As we walk through this life, please help us to love as You loved, as a mother loves her child – sacrificially, unconditionally, without seeking or expecting anything in return.  Help us be more understanding, more merciful, more giving and forgiving of others, knowing that this is our Father’s will for us.  Help us reach out to the non-believing world with the Gospel message, showing Your love through our love.  Give us the words to say, show us what to do to help bring the lost to You.

Lord Jesus, please shield our minds and our hearts from Satan’s lies and the world’s empty promises.  Guide us around all the devil’s traps and snares.  Help us see though his temptations and all the false teachings.  Help us fend off his attacks.  Please help us be faithful and true to You, putting all our trust in You, all our hope in You.  Heal the hurts that separate and divide us one from another.  Help us keep our focus on the things of heaven and the needs of others rather than on anything this life might offer.  This we pray in Your blessed name, Christ Jesus our Lord and our Savior.  Amen.