What Is Love?

 

[The following is a manuscript of my message delivered at Pilgrim Reformed Church on Sunday morning, the 7th of December, 2025, the second Sunday in Advent.  A recording of our service may be available on our YouTube streaming channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/@pilgrimreformedchurch1992/streams for the older services or https://www.youtube.com/@pilgrimreformedchurch3115/streams for later services.]

What is love?

Poets and authors and songwriters have been describing love pretty much ever since there have been poems and writings and songs.  The dictionary tells us that love is “a strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, such as for a parent, child, friend, or pet”, “an active, self-giving concern for the well-being of others”, and “a profoundly tender, passionate affection, often mingled with sexual desire, for another person”, among many other definitions.

The Greeks have four different words for love – not just three, as some will say, but four.  “Philia” is the love between close friends or brothers – think of Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.  “Eros” is the love found in romantic relationships; it’s what drives that sexual desire.  “Storge” refers to the love between family members, like a mother for her child; sometimes called “familia” or “familial love”.

And then there’s “agape”, the one many have likely heard of.  “Agape” is an unconditional, sacrificial love.  It is a love of choice, a love that humbly serves others, a selfless love.  It is the love Jesus showed us, the love of God for us.

In the 13th chapter of his 1st Letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul defines agape love in very clear terms.  It is here that he tells us that love suffers long and is kind, and that love never fails.  I’m not sure we humans are entirely capable of that.  Love at first sight quickly goes sour.  “Love” based on physical beauty or sexual attraction fades with time’s passage.  Even the love between parents and their children can be broken apart and cast aside.

But there truly is a love that suffers long and never fails.  It is the love God has for us, His creation.  And it is the love Paul discusses in another of his letters to the early church.  Please listen and follow along as Paul reminds us of God's love, shown through the gift of faith, of the Holy Spirit, and of His Son who reconciles us and offers us salvation, from the first 11 verses of the 5th chapter of his Letter to the Romans, and I’ll be reading from the New King James Version of our Holy Bible this morning…

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. 10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

--Romans 5:1-11 (NKJV)

Let us pray…  Father God, thank You for showing Paul the truth and giving him the power and the courage to face all his trials as he established churches throughout the known world.  And thank You for inspiring him to write so many letters to those early churches.  In this letter to the church in Rome, he reminds us of all You’ve given us and all out of love – love for Your creation, love for Your children.  We sometimes forget, or maybe just take for granted, how much You do love us.  You show us in an endless display, if we’d only stop long enough to look.  We struggle, though, to show our love for You.  Father, we know we disobey You at times, and we know it displeases You.  We need You to help us live more righteously.  Please forgive us those times we disappoint You and help us be more obedient to Your will, more loving, more caring, more compassionate, showing Your love to others so that they too might find salvation through Jesus.

Speak to us now, Father, that we might hear Your voice through Your Spirit within us and better grasp the message You have for us this day.  This we pray in the precious name of Your Son, Christ Jesus our Lord.   Amen.

I love this little story...  A certain medieval monk announced he would be preaching next Sunday evening on "The Love of God".  As the shadows fell and the light ceased to come in through the cathedral windows, the congregation gathered.  In the darkness of the altar, the monk lighted a candle and carried it to the crucifix.  First of all, he illumined the crown of thorns, next the two wounded hands, then the marks of the spear wound.  In the hush that fell, he blew out the candle and left the chancel.  There was nothing else to say.

Sometimes we don't need words in order to speak volumes.  I can only imagine what must have been running through that congregation’s minds, sitting there in the gloom, with the unspoken words of love ringing in their hearts.  Only someone who truly, deeply loved us would take the punishment meant for us, the punishment we deserved.  Only He would die for us so that we might live.  Those scars shout, “I love you”.

The Gospel account of the Apostle John is sometimes called the book of love, and not only because the author refers to himself as “the disciple Jesus loved”.  Among its many references to love are those describing the love Jesus has for us and the love of God for all mankind, including the one verse that is most well-known and often quoted the world over, even by atheists and non-believers.

We know the story.  One night, a Pharisee came to Jesus under the cloak of darkness, seeking to know more about this remarkable Man he’d heard of.  John recorded this conversation for us in the 3rd chapter of his Gospel account, including this passage from verses 13 through 21 where Jesus explains to Nicodemus…

13 “No one has ascended to heaven but He who came down from heaven, that is, the Son of Man who is in heaven. 14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15 that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”

--John 3:13-21 (NKJV)

In the first part of that passage, Jesus is foretelling His impending death, being lifted up on a cross as a blood sacrifice to atone for our sin.  And all because of love.  God loves us, so He sent His only Son into the world to carry out the salvation plan.  Jesus loved His Father, so He accepted His role in God’s plan for mankind.  Jesus loved us enough to take our punishment and to die so we could live.

Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world, but to redeem it and give it a chance at eternal life.  If He and God didn’t love us, we would all have stood convicted and condemned, as in the days of the flood.

Toward the close of their last supper together before His arrest, after Judas left the room and right before Jesus foretold that Peter would soon deny Him, our Lord issued a new command to His followers, those seated with Him that evening, all believers since that time, we today, and all Christians hence forward until the end of the age.  John recorded this one, too, in the 13th chapter of his Gospel account, verses 34 and 35…

34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

--John 13:34-35 (NKJV)

At another point in His ministry, Jesus tells us to love all others, not just other believers.  But this is a telling point, because if we can't love other believers, our own brothers and sisters in Christ, then how can we possibly love all others, including non-believers and even those who hate us for our faith?

We Christians do seem to have a hard time loving even other Christians all the time.  We easily get into spats and arguments, carrying grudges and resentment, destroying our love.  We can do better, but it takes a concentrated effort.  Jesus commands us to make this effort.

Jesus calls us to love.  We lit the candle of love this morning to recognize and acknowledge the love Jesus has for us, but also to remind ourselves of that last command, that calling.  This isn’t romantic love Jesus wants of us, nor the love we have for our parents or our children, or our grand-children, or any of our relatives.  It isn’t even brotherly love Jesus calls us to.  It is agape – unconditional, sacrificial love, a love we choose to give, a selfless love that drives our humble service to others.  It is the love that helps other folk in their time of need.  It is the love that leads us to pray for our enemies, those that would do us harm, praying that they too might find salvation through Jesus.  Let’s show Jesus our love by loving others as He loves us.

In the beautiful name of Christ Jesus our Redeemer.  Amen.

Let us pray…  Almighty God, thank You for loving us.  Even though we are a stiff-necked people, even when we rebel against You, even when we are disobedient children, You still love us.  And when we were lost in our sin, You sent Your own Son to redeem us and show us the Way.  Even if we don’t always show it, we in this house thank You, Father.  We love You and trust You in all things.  But sometimes we don’t show our love.  We don’t love others as we should.  We even wish harm on some.  Please help us show our love in all things, dear God, to all people of Your creation.  And Father, please help us reach out and share the Gospel message with everyone we come into contact with. 

Please hear us now, Father, as we pause for just a moment to speak to You through Your Spirit within us, promising to be more obedient to Your word, and seeking Your help to do so…

Lord Jesus, You clearly showed Your love – for God and for us – in how You lived Your mortal life and how You gave Your all for us.  Thank You, Lord, for coming to us when we wandered in the wilderness of our sin, to show us what love really looks like.  Thank You for teaching us love, through Your words and Your actions.  We love you, Lord.  May those simple words convey our love for You and our Father God.  Please forgive us when we struggle to do what we know is right, to not do what we know is wrong.  And please help us reach out to the non-believing world, sharing the Gospel message, showing Your love through our love.

Holy Spirit, please shield our minds and our hearts from Satan’s lies and the world’s empty promises.  Guide us around all the devil’s traps and snares.  Help us see though his temptations.  Help us keep our focus on the things of heaven and the needs of others rather than on anything this world might offer.  All this we pray in the blessed name of Christ Jesus our Lord.  Amen.